The beginning?
I'm not sure where to begin. I always knew something was off with myself ever since I could form an understanding about my mind. I remember being as young as 13 or 14 years old. I'd lie awake at night wondering about death, how was it going to happen, where I was going to go....even though I was raised in the Christian faith. But nothing shut my mind off and I couldn't control it. There's a lot of stuff that I would worry about and it wouldn't go away. When I was about 15 years old I developed a lot of feelings where I did not belong. I didn't feel complete. I thought that religion would help it. I joined the church being a teen pastor and I did all the things that my school taught me would make me happy. But it didn't work. I never got that happiness I never got that completeness even though I sought out God and made sure I was doing everything right. My life wasn't where I wanted to be and the feeling didn't improve for a long time. I would hope th